Inspiring tales for the New Year

Got a New Year’s resolution? So do lots of people. And like most of them, you likely won’t keep yours.
Still, this is always the time of year tto look ahead with high hopes, and perhaps the time to imagine that 2006 might be the year that your life - no matter how good or bad it may seem - might get better. Perhaps, for you, this will be the year of change.
But think about this: Maybe thatt big defining moment has already happened. Maybe, even if you never realized it, something has already occurred in your life that has made you the person you are today, either personally or professionally. And if it hasn’t happened yet, maybe it’s something for you to look forward to, or still hope for.
We talked to some people from throughout NEPA last week and asked them to share with us a story that helped them put their lives in perspective, or helped shape their lives in some way. And what we found was that life-altering moments come in all forms. All you have to do is recognize them, and then act on them.
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Kermit Alphonso is the lead singer for The Collective, which has been voted one of the area’s favorite bands by Weekender readers for the past several years. He’s also one of the most well-liked people on the local music scene and is very active in the community and in helping with charitable projects. He is, to some, a role model
But Alphonso has a very telling tale to tell about his life, and says that despite his many friendships, it’s the women in his life that have had the strongest impact on him. Especially one woman.
“I’ve been fortunate enough to experience the influence of good, strong women,” says Alphonso. “These women have given me their strength, knowledge of the world, and inspiration to do better and strive for a better way of life. They’ve shown me the true meaning of loyalty, friendship, responsibility and love.
“I can’t talk about each and every one of them, because no one would have time to read all I have to say, but I’ll choose one great woman to highlight. Her name is Mrs. MaKee. This phenomenal woman was my high school guidance counselor. When I was in high school back in Greensboro, N.C., basketball consumed all of my time and was my big dream. This dream came to a sudden halt when I had the unfortunate experience of breaking and tearing ligaments in my right ankle. I was destroyed. All the colleges that were looking to recruit me started sending me cards that said they were sorry to hear about my injury.
This translated to ’Have a nice life. You are finished.’
“Sports was how I identified myself, so after that was gone, things went down hill for me. I decided to stop going to classes. I was skipping school on a regular basis and started selling drugs. Now, I wasn’t really good at it, so I knew this couldn’t last forever, and I found myself getting into fights with others because I was so lost. To make a long story short, I was arrested for assault with intent to cause deadly harm.
“Because of this charge, I was expelled from school. But Mrs. MaKee didn’t quit on me. She got me back in school. She made me tryout for the All-State Ensemble and Traveling Gospel Chorus. She felt that I had the grades and the voice to go to college. She promised me if I wouldn’t quit on myself, she wouldn’t quit on me. I followed through and so did she. She got Wilkes University interested in me as a student-athlete. If it were not for this woman, I would have never gone to college and got an education. I would have never known that my voice was special enough to join a prestigious vocal institution. I would have never known what it was like to see another place outside of Greensboro. This woman helped to save my life. I would probably be dead or in jail, considering most of the guys I was hanging with back in Greensboro are dead or in jail. If it weren’t her, and all of the good women in my life, my life would be lifeless.”
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Kevin Lynn, who serves as a colorful and sometimes outspoken morning talk show host on WILK-AM, says he got a sense of what he wanted to do with his life when he was just 15, when, after his father insisted, he took a high school speech class. It resulted in one very memorable and defining moment.
“Believe it or not, I was very shy,” says Lynn. “For my final semester assignment, I chose the poem ’The Mountain Whippoorwill’ by Stephen Vincent Benet. My reading went great, and my speech teacher then invited me to compete at a major public speaking tournament in Ohio. It was my first time ever speaking in public. Thousands of kids came from all over the state, to speak. Some schools even had pep bands! There were hundreds of kids entered in poetry, and I knew I was in over my head. We had to speak several times iin front of several judges, against different kids.
“The first kid in the first group did ’The Highwayman’ and actually made a noise with his mouth like horse hooves! Kids clapped! I was the next speaker. I knew it was over for me, so I figured, ‘What the hell,’ and I went for it. I let it all out, chewed the scenery, and generally put on a show. Then, amazingly, kids clapped for me too! I ’went for it’ the rest of the day. When they announced the awards, I won! But before the awards even began, I knew that day had changed my life. I knew I would continue to live my life out in public, and I knew I would continue to go for it. Since then, for better or worse, I have.”
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Linda O’Boyle Zaneski of Edwardsville is a registered nurse and also serves on Edwardsville council. She is also a former Miss Pennsylvania and Mrs. Pennsylvania, and she too recently reflected on the things that have changed her perspective on life.
“One defining moment for me was in 1991, when that Miss Pennsylvania crown was put on my head,” says Zaneski. “I noticed that everyone was suddenly interested in what I had to say and do. I actually thought the title, with its sparkling rhinestone crown, had a power that made people take notice. Soon afterward, however, I learned that it wasn’t about the crown at all. It was about an opportunity. An opportunity to speak to others about issues important to me. An opportunity to help others and feel good about it. I had something to contribute to the community as myself - not just as Miss PA.”
Zaneski says she’s learned that you don’t need to be in a high profile position to be heard, and that anyone can make such an opportunity for themselves and contribute to society in their own special way. She adds that volunteerism is an important part of a community, and that community service can be fun and rewarding.
“The spirit of community service continues to be a part of my life,” she says. “I believe that one person can make a difference, and if each of us contributes just a few hours a month, our communities would be so much better. As a councilwoman and full-time employee in health care, I serve the public on a daily basis. IIIII also strive to make our community better by involving my family in my community service efforts, to make them better citizens and better individuals. My kids are learning early on that helping others is important. You don’t need a title to make a difference. Your title can be father, wife, or even concerned citizen. Everyone can make a difference. “
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Dave Chesler, marketing director of Electric Factory Concerts, is one of the people responsible for presenting summer concerts on Montage Mountain. Chesler says he knew at an early age that he wanted music to be a part of his life, and that a college internship long ago helped shape his life. He believes, because of that experience, that everyone should fully follow their dreams and pursue their own happiness.
“I started going to concerts in my mid-teens and was instantly hooked on live music,” says Chesler. “All I wore in the first three years of high school were black heavy metal concert t-shirts, with an occasional white or gray thrown in every once in a while. My freshman year in college, I started working at the university radio station, which is also where I met my wife of 16 years. Because of my position at the station, I worked with the university venues quite often, and I convinced the venue marketing manager to hire me as his first intern. Working a John Mellencamp concert, I hooked up with a concert promoter from Chicago that was in town for the show. Afterwards, I sent him my resume and by spring break of my senior year, I had a confirmed internship with the top concert promoter in Chicago. Three months into the internship, they hired me on full-time and I worked there eight years. I have since moved to Philly where I have been with Electric Factory Concerts for almost six years, and my love of live music and entertainment hasn’t waned.”
“In college, I had no idea I would end up a concert promoter, but I knew what I liked doing and what my interests were,” he adds. “To that end, I decided to do as much as I could in those years, so that once I graduated, I would have as much experience working in radio and venue marketing as anyone could just coming out of college. It was that experience that gave me the opportunity to do something for a living that I truly loved to do - marketing concerts. If there is any bit of wisdom I can pass on from my experience, it is simply this - set yourself up to succeed - you’ll thank yourself later on in life. “
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David Lee, president of the United Way of Wyoming Valley, has dedicated his life to helping others. He too has a tale to tell of a moment that helped define him as a person.
Lee says he grew up as one of four children in a modest Midwest family, and there was never much money to spare. Still, he says his parents worked hard and saved, so they were always able to take an annual one-week vacation. He says the family would pile in the car, and head to the Lake of the Ozarks for a whole week of swimming, boating and water skiing. It was there, one summer day, when in reality, his life’s work began.
“During one of those vacations, I was standing in a souvenir shop and reading the wall plaques that such stores usually have,” says Lee. “One plaque stopped me in my tracks. It said, ’I thought I had it bad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.’
“Until that moment, I never thought of myself as fortunate. I decided on the spot that someday I would work in a job where I could help people. At the time, and with water skiing on my young mind, I recall being focused on helping people without feet. As I got older, I understood the full meaning of the saying, as well as the full extent of misfortunes that life can deal to people.
“A second defining moment in my life occurred when I was about six years old. I met a young man who was introduced to me as my father’s ’little brother.’ I was confused. Was he my uncle? Soon I understood that Pops, in spite of the grueling long hours he worked, volunteered to mentor a young man who did not have a father living in the home. My mother did the same in the Big Sister program. To think that my parents did such a thing made a positive and lasting impression on me. It was an early and very powerful lesson about volunteerism and the positive impact it can have on someone who is less fortunate than we are.”
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Mary Therese Biebel, an award-winning features writer with The Times Leader, has had plenty of her own milestone moments. Yet she says that sometimes a simple encounter on the street can help change your perspective on life. She shares this story:
“A few weeks ago,” she says, “ I was walking along North Washington Street in Wilkes-Barre, just a few blocks from the newsroom, when I noticed a little girl who seemed to be holding a long, slender stick. ‘What does that kid have?’ I wondered. ‘A fishing pole?’
“When I got closer, I realized she was playing a violin, serenading a crossing guard. An older woman was holding the sheet music, and it was spread across her chest for the young musician to better see. That afternoon, I had been feeling low and discouraged by stories about crime and drugs and decaying neighborhoods. But the sight of that young violinist, the sheer beauty of her art in the street, the sweetness of two far-removed generations sharing a moment reminded me there is hope after all.
“I stopped, listened, and applauded the girl’s very recognizable rendition of ‘The Little Drummer Boy.’
“I’m glad I came this way,” I told her.
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Joe Ohrin, who Weekender readers have voted the area’s best comedian several times, says several of life’s experiences have made him appreciative of the blessings that he has, and have helped put his life in perspective. He says that a subway ride in New York,, just a few weeks after 9/11, helped reconfirm his own sense of purpose.
“This time of year, all thoughts are turned to gifts,” says Ohrin. “Buying gifts. Receiving gifts. Will it fit? Do I have a receipt? Waiting in line for gifts. Finding that perfect gift. But there are more important gifts than the ones we buy. They are the ones we’re born with.
“I’ve been blessed with the gift to be able to make people laugh. I was shy growing up, but when I was around people I was comfortable with, I told jokes, made up my own jokes, and enjoyed the laughter of myself and those around me. As I got older, I realized I could parlay my sense of humor into a career, and I have been fortunate enough to have been performing stand-up comedy for over 12 years. I haaave played in clubs and theaters and worked with top name acts, which I suppose is a nice accomplishment, considering I just wanted to try stand-up comedy just one time, to see how I’d do.
“In the summer of 2001, I was living and working in New York. I was doing tons of auditions for commercials, MTV, etc., and I was having a blast. There were times when I would cross Sixth Avenue and look to my left and see the Empire State Building, then I’d look downtown and see the World Trade Center - a place where I acted in some corporate videos - and would think, ’Wow, I’m a working actor in New York City.’ I was living one of my dreams, and a dream of many.
“I was home in Wilkes-Barre one weekend, and was set to go back to New York on a Tuesday, but my brakes needed to be fixed. So I called my agent and canceled my early appointment that was in downtown Manhattan, but assured her I would make my 4 p.m. audition uptown. As I was waiting for my car, I saw the world collapse. I saw my city crumble, the place that was so strong and tough, just disintegrate. Life was changing forever, for all of us.
“About two weeks later, my friend and I drove to New York. It was my first trip back since 9-11. We parked near Yankee Stadium, as our night would wrap up with a ball game, but as we headed downtown for a while, the city was eerily different. It was quiet, and it was patient. It was concerned and sad. As we got on the subway, I offered my seat to a lady and she thanked me and took it. My friend didn’t reeact quickly enough, so I made fun of him with lines like, ’You think that jerk would get up, and give you his seat. No, he’s not nice, he’s not a gentleman, like me.” Of course, the comments were all in fun, and the ladies around began to chuckle. I’m sure I ad-libbed a few more lines that got a few more chuckles. Then one lady approached me and said, ’It’s so nice that you can make people laugh in New York at a time like this. Thank you.’ I was just doing what I always do. But in that instant, my gift of humor was worth more than any other gift in the world. So, at this holiday season, and always, I try to remind people to enjoy the gifts that God has given them and appreciate the gifts of your family and friends. “
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Like most people, Danny Wilde, general manager at the Ford Pavilion at Montage Mountain, says it’s difficult for him to name just one defining moment in his life. But he does know why he does what he does for a living, and says that when others feel they way he did with one of his first rock Ôn roll experiences, he always advises them to follow that dream.
“There have been many moments that have shaped and changed my life
both personally and professionally,” says Wilde. “But I have worked and been involved in the live music industry now in some way shape or form for 28 years, and the one night that probably gave me the inspiration and drive to keep at it was back in 1978. I was playing in what was basically ann unknown garage band called Menticide. We rehearsed regularly in bedrooms and garages, but played only a handful of small shows. We were based in a small rural village called Southwell in Nottinghamshire in the East Midlands of England, so most of the shows were in surrounding village youth clubs to audiences that mostly neither knew nor cared what the punk music revolution was about. After much badgering of a local club owner, we finally got a chance to go into the city (Nottingham) to be the opening band for the legendary punk act The Damned.
“The club was the Sandpipers, a small sweaty place that only held 300 people, but there must have been 500 crammed in that night. We actually got to play through a real PA instead of the small home-constructed thing we would cart around with us. We also got a soundcheck, a dressing room, met the Damned, though the most contact was from Rat Scabies trying to make us buy him whiskey all night. We got ripped off by the promoter, spat upon by the Damned faaans - which was strangely enough a sign of appreciation - and had to do a runner from the van rental company because we couldn’t afford to pay for it. But we left exhilarated and completely hooked. There have been many highs and lows since that night, buttt whenever I start to doubt if I’m in the right profession, as rough as it can be sometimes, I sit back, replay that night in my head, conjure up a wry smile and get back to work.”
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Emelia (Emy) Angeli is the chair of the Communications Department and Humanities Division at Lackawanna College and President of Angel Star Media. She shares with us a deeply personal milestone moment in her life, and one that she says will stay with her forever.
“ ’I love you all’ were the last words my mother said before she took her final breath,” says Angeli. “I haven’t looked at life the same way since she was diagnosed with Mesothelioma, a cancer caused by exposure to asbestos. My life has never been and never will be the same. In the beginning, I was terrified of the word cancer, and by the end - which was my mother’s death - the noun that was once so foreign became the biggest part me. My mother taught me so much before she began her struggle with this horrific disease, but she taught me the most through her fight for life and her graceful acceptance of death.
“I am no longer the same person, and this isn’t for the worse. Although losing my mother was my biggest fear come true, the experience brought me to the place I am now. I believe things happen for a reason and this event, as painful as it was, lead me to the people I now have in my life. I truly live for the day and have little expectations. I’ve learned that paths are meant to find their ways to the place where individuals are supposed to be.
“My life’s little twists, turns and giant dips in the road have lead me to where I am today. I love the people in my life, I have stopped taking myself so seriously and have come to the conclusion that I truly need to live everyday as if it were my last and always tell the people who are the most important in my life I love them.”
We at The Weekender thank these people for sharing their stories with
us, and we wish a very Happy New Year to all of our readers. We hope that this week, as we head into 2006, we gave you all just a little something to think about.
Thank the mentor. Embrace the change. Hear the voice.
Follow the dream.